Triggers- what are they really?
Greetings and welcome to another installment of “On our mind”. This post will focus on “triggers”. I am not a fan of that word because it tends to have a negative connotation and then people tend to want to avoid- even just a conversation about them. So, before we utilize different language, let’s first talk about what do people mean when they say “trigger(s)”. The hope is that this post will allow you to engage with this topic in a new way and to gain an understanding that creates empowerment.
When the word “trigger” is used throughout our day-to-day society, people tend to mean that they saw, heard, felt, smelled, or tasted something that brings up an unpleasant experience to which they then have some unwanted emotional reaction. The trigger is brought to them through at least 1 of the 5 senses. You may be thinking “but what if it was brought up by a thought”- this is a great inquiry, and it is likely that the thought came up because of something associated with the senses that the person is unaware of, or they are in a state of rumination (in a negative thought loop about something) which is still connected back to the 5 senses. It is easy to see why people do not want to be triggered. However, there is a lot missing from this picture.
Now let’s build that picture. Trigger- let’s expand… I mentioned that “trigger is often used with a negative connotation and this is very limiting to our human experience. In fact, a trigger can be anything that has an association for us which brings up an emotional reaction. Therefore, a trigger can be positive or negative.
For example- your favorite song comes on from childhood- you remember something pleasurable that is associated with this memory, you smile. You order your favorite desert because it reminds you of that one time at ____. Guess what- you were just “triggered”. So instead of using “trigger”, let’s use association, activation, and strong emotional reaction. By changing this language, we can now interact with the concept and experience in a wider range.
If associations/activations/strong emotional reactions happen because of our experiences, what drives these associations…our nervous system. For many the strong emotional reactions tend to feel uncontrollable (and a reason people tend to want to avoid being “triggered). Let’s break this down a bit more.
*In our nervous system, there is the Autonomic Nervous System. This part of our nervous system regulates involuntary bodily processes (think automatic). This includes functions such as heart rate, blood pressure, sexual arousal.
Our autonomic nervous system is comprised of the Sympathetic and Parasympathetic Nervous System. The Sympathetic branch is responsible for functions such as increasing our heart rate, blood pressure, flight, and fight, while the Parasympathetic branch is responsible for lowering our heart rate, blood pressure, rest and digest and freeze. The flight, fight, freeze responses are survival strategies that our body uses for us to have a greater chance of survival when we detect danger in our environment.
Why is understanding this important? We all have experiences in our life where danger has been present. This danger may have been physical or emotional. Our nervous system takes note of these dangers and creates memories that our nervous system can access in the future so that in the event of another encounter with danger we will know what to do (these memories do not need to be conscious for us).
Example- a caregiver figure tells you to clean up your room before they get home. You play while they are gone, and the time slips your mind. They arrive home, you have not cleaned your room. The consequence is unpleasant (danger). Your nervous system takes note of how you feel so it can access it in the future.
The next time your caregiver goes out, they tell you to clean your room before they return. This time, you play, but you keep checking the clock. You look up and there is about 15 minutes before they are due to arrive- you spring into action, cleaning your room frantically (fight). Or instead of springing into action, you hide in your closet (flight). Or you do nothing and when confronted by your caregiver you cannot speak and cannot move (freeze). Why? Because you remembered the unpleasant consequence (danger) and did not want to go through it again.
You may be saying to yourself, “how is an unpleasant consequence equated to danger”. Check this out- our goal is to survive. As children, we instinctually understand that our survival is directly tied to our caregivers.
From even before we are born our life is dependent upon someone else. For many animals, they become independent not too long after birth. For humans, this is not the case, we are dependent for a long time.
We can’t walk until about 1 year old, and we cannot get our own food. We depend on caregivers to feed, clothe, shelter, nurture, and teach us about the world we live in and how to navigate it.
As children, an unpleasant consequence brings up concern for will our caregiver stop doing their part, will they no longer feed, clothe, shelter, nurture, or teach us. This may seem extreme but for a child’s mind we may question what broken condition will lead a caregiver to disconnect from us and thus threaten our ability to survive= danger. Because our caregivers are the first to teach us about the world, the way they behave, will often lead us to assume that the world at large functions in a similar way. Thus we may start to see danger where there is little to no danger present.
Alright, so now that we dissected that a bit, back to the nervous system, otherwise I may go on forever. As I mentioned the Sympathetic Nervous System leads to an increase in activity (hyperarousal), and the Parasympathetic is leads to a decrease in activity (hypoarousal).
**With hyperarousal think emotional reactions and behaviors such as:
agitation
frustration
irritability
fidgeting
trying to escape
physical aggression
anger
risky behaviors
hypervigilance
unable to concentrate
unable to communicate needs
intruding on personal space
constantly touching other people or things
unable to sit still
seeking out noise, color or smells
sensory seeking
paranoia
looking for risks / dangers
**With hypoarousal think emotional reactions and behaviors such as:
· feeling numb
· feeling dissociated
· feeling frozen
· feeling like you are disconnected
· daydreaming
· brain fog
· exhaustion
· being very quiet or withdrawn
· socially isolating
· being unable to make decisions
· finding it hard to concentrate
· reporting having no memories of an event
It’s important to note that associations/activations/strong emotional responses include hypoarousal because we can assume that people do not care or are unaffected, or could have fought or ran away- but really, they are in a state of activation just like anyone else and are simply trying to survive. For them utilizing flight and fight strategies may not have been an option and the level of danger was too great to risk to their survival and freeze was the best option.
With this list of emotional reactions and behaviors in mind, it is easier to understand why many want to avoid becoming activated. Unfortunately, it is unlikely that we could avoid all of associations. Because we cannot avoid everything, we are left with a great opportunity. One of growth- one where we can empower ourselves. One where we learn how to manage our behaviors when an association/activation/strong emotional reaction occurs.
Gaining the understanding that our nervous system is creating memory from our experiences and that when we deem these experiences dangerous we tend to hold on tightly to the association so that we can survive- we now have the opportunity to relearn/retrain our nervous system to respond rather than react. This includes us knowing that our survival skills will still be available to us, even if we are not staying in a state of hyper/hypo arousal.
One tool to do this- list out situations that we find emotionally rousing (hyper and/or hypo). Once we have a list we can go through one by one and ask ourselves how do we typically react to this type of situation in various settings (home, work, out in public, with family, with friends, etc). Next we can ask ourselves how we would like to respond instead. Then we can start to take steps to get us toward the space of responding rather than reacting. Those steps may include seeking self-help, professional help, self care such as meditation, exercise, etc.
Another important tool is breathing. When we breath in our heart rate speeds up, when we breath out our heart rate slows down. Therefore taking some time each day to do some conscious breathing can help our nervous system. If we tend to be hyperaroused we will want to work toward having our inhale and our exhale being even or our exhale being a little longer than our inhale. If we tend to be hypoaroused, we will want to take some time to awaken our nervous system, and will want to explore breathing exercises that invigorate/energize- ***link posted below.
Hopefully you have found this approach to exploring associations/activations/strong emotional reactions useful. I hope it empowers you to let go of criticism and judgment towards yourself and others for survival strategies that have been used in the past. I hope it also encourages you to take some time to learn new ways to manage your associations/activations/strong emotional reactions in a way that is more reflective of your today rather than your yesterday. Most of all, I hope this post has lead you to see that there are more choice points available to you now then there were before you started reading.
Citations
* Waxerbaum, J.A., Reddy, V., and Varacallo, M. (Last update July 25, 2022). Autonomic Nervous System. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK539845/#:~:text=The%20autonomic%20nervous%20system%20is,sympathetic%2C%20parasympathetic%2C%20and%20enteric.
**Hypoarousal versus Hyperarousal (November 21, 2022)
***Walker, Tiffany (October 21, 2021). How to Boost—Or Chill—Your Energy With Your Breath.
